When my husband and I were daydreaming about an adventure in a far off place, there was no thought of what it would feel like to say goodbye. This evening, as I prepared for tomorrow, tears fell as I fully took in that there wasn’t much more time in the building that is my second home.
I started thinking about all the students who hug me in the hallways, even though they’ve never been in my class… I remembered so many fun memories with co-workers… And I started praying for the teacher who takes on this beautiful class after me, that she will know what she’s doing, love and appreciate my students, and that they won’t feel like I deserted them.
How can a job take over so much of your heart? I felt panicked because it felt like I was saying goodbye to a part of myself. And it really hurts. I reflected on this, asking myself is it just my ego? But I know it is not.
One of my best qualities is jumping in with my whole heart and one of my worst qualities is jumping in with my whole heart….So probably the brokenness I feel is just natural.
I have nine more days doing this awesome job. I hope these next two weeks will be memorable, and I pray my students will remember how much I love them. There’s still so much I need to take care of before I go, I want to make sure being busy doesn’t rob me of the special times ahead.
I won’t feel guilty for talking with my friends after work. People are the most important part of my profession, and the relationships formed these last few years run deep. I look forward to the last parent conferences, too, for the same reason.
When I’m not residing in my second home anymore, school will still go on, my students will still learn, and the year will be full of all the things. My heart will still be there, at least a part of it. And that means it truly was a work of heart.