This morning is full of doubts. My Facebook page reminds me of all the things I’m missing out on since I’ve left the classroom this past February. I miss my students, my colleagues, and the community I loved. Questioning my choices even though I know we made the best decision for our family. A desperation to throw away what I’ve been learning here. Just in a mess of chaos, wondering if the decision we made was right?
Those thoughts are followed by all the answers to those questions, all the pros, and the begging of my heart to just try it out for a year. The mind tells me, are you sure you are not focused on your ego? My ego has a lot to do with it. I’m nothing if not honest.
One of my former, adult students posted this on her Facebook page last night and it really made me think:
I also saw this and it made me think:
Pretty sure God is even better at tracking my interests and heart than Siri!
Seek out God with all of my heart, praying for the peace only He can give in the process. He will make a way as He always has done. Cherish this time as I won’t get it back.
Transitions are awkward times as there seem to be arrows pointing down any and every direction while the mind continuously wonders if going back would be the best path, even while knowing it isn’t possible. There’s an amount of fear going into the unknown. I am blessed to have my faith to lean on and do not know how others would do it any other way.
Taking stock of all my blessings: my faith, my family, my friends, opportunities coming my way, and the ability to still speak into the lives of others. Even as I write them out, I wonder how I could still have so much doubt while walking this path?
So I’m asking, Lord, give me the strength to follow You and Your path and not the path I’d carve out for myself out of fear.
Friend, if you are also finding yourself in the midst of transition, and wondering how you will make it to the next step, I know there is One we can lean on. If you don’t know Him, I’d be happy to make introductions.