Today I wrote on my Instagram that it’s just as important to help young people realize what they do NOT need to be sorry for as much as it is to know when they do need to apologize.

Here is my post:

Sorry, sorry, sorry!

This post came after thinking about my past insecurities and what/who helped me make it through to a place where confidence replaces the feelings of constant apology for the person I am mentally and physically.

More than anything, what helped me were the gentle reminders, from people who knew and loved me, telling me I was enough and there was no need to be sorry for who I am. Those who scolded me because I apologized too much just earned another “sorry!” And truthfully, I felt miserable for feeling so miserable! I really was sorry!

Sincere apologies are necessary but not for when it comes to who we are.

I’m NOT Sorry

I’m not sorry for my hips.

I’m not sorry for my laugh.

I’m not sorry for my hair.

I’m not sorry for who I love.

I’m not sorry for growing and changing into the person I am today.

Reflection

Many of these feelings of insecurity came from growing up in a toxic atmosphere, but no one is perfect, and that includes me. As much as I hope I’m different than where I came from, I’ve had to own the things I’ve said to my family. Do I emphasize what they do wrong more than how much I appreciate all they do well? Am I reinforcing a confident mindset where they know they are beautiful creations designed by God who have unique purposes?

The truth is, I mess up a lot. I do harp on the negative too much.

But it’s not too late for them and it’s not too late for me.

I’m not sorry for learning, growing, changing, and doing better, and that brings me full circle to knowing when to apologize and make things right, and it still is within my power to make it right.

Be well, my friends!

Published by Melody McAllister

I am a wife, mother of five, educator, and author. My family relocated to Alaska from the Dallas area in 2019. I was awarded 2017 Garland NAACP Educator of the Year, and I'm the author of the I’m Sorry Story, a children's book about taking responsibility for mistakes and making sincere apologies. I am also the Logistics Manager for EduMatch Publishing. I've spoken at ISTE and ASTE about equity issues in education, and I write about my journey in my blog, HeGaveMeAMelody.com. Follow me @mjmcalliwrites

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