Today I woke up and it was unlike any other day that I can remember.

Nothing amazing took place.

Well, somehing amazing did take place, but not like you think. The amazing happening was waking up at 6am, without an alarm, full of energy! I guess I should preface this with the fact I went to bed the night before at 10pm because I was truly feeling tired. I thought that was really weird since I normally stay up past midnight working and find it extremely difficult to find the zzzzz’s.

I’m obssessed with this song by TobyMac. I listen to it on repeat as I MOVE or work.

Today was Day 5 of the Optavia program I started for my weight loss. The first three days were pure hell for me, but yesterday and today, I felt really good. LIKE, so good, I am cleaning and folding laundry, ready to finally participate in the decluttering challenges my friend, Gail, issues us in our Facebook Group. So good, I am not yelling at anyone or cussing my husband out. Like so good, I listened to my body telling me I was hungry and have been uber intentional about hydrating myself.

Who is this woman? ME!!!!

Why Will it Work This Time?

My favorite, new podcast!! She cusses! I LOVE IT!

The same woman who has flunked Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Keto, Intermittent Fasting, and probably a few more programs. So…why should this new program be any different as my Facebook Memories remind me of the many times I’ve started a new and excting, healthy weight loss journey, only to eventually abandon it? It’s likely people who have known me already think I’m going to fail again….well that’s what my asshole thinking tells me. Reality is no one is keeping up with my failures and holding them against me. And if they are, they are the assholes.

My short-term game is going to prove my long-term goals, and I’m ready. I’m already a few pounds down, which is encouraging, but my thinking is more positive. Women, who are so much like me, have reached out to support me and I will support them as well. I’m not ignoring the reality of who I am and where I have been, including my failures. I’m using them to fuel me into a new direction where I use the truth of my behavior and habits to plan better against relapses of overeatting, binge eating, or thinking if I starve myself it will equal out.

I’ve gained over thirty pounds in the last year. I feel like getting back to my pre-pandemic weight is a giant to take on, and then to get even more healthy and under 200 pounds, feels almost impossible, but there is this warrior inside of me, who trust that in Christ I can truly do anything, and so I begin!

Micro-Habits

While I am in a weight loss program called Optavia, I chose it for the education. I do eat a few times a day, and this is kinda weird, but what I love so far is the challenge of forming “micro-habits.” This week’s habit is drinking more water, and I have drank more water than required every day! I’m winning!

The coolest part of it all is the support of my husband, kids, and friends. No, the coolest part is feeling like a freakin’ rockstar for the first time in I don’t even know how long!

This is not a “Before Shot.” This is me feeling fantastic and loving me just as I am today. A fatter me to compare myself to isn’t going to make me more proud in a month’s or year’s time.

I’m going to keep learning how to lose weight and keep it off so I don’t face a set back with every pandemic that comes our way. haha.

I write always to encourage at least one other person who is feeling like me. If you have hit reset or started a new program and failed many times like me, it’s okay to try again. And again. When the path you are on is leading to unhealthy unhappiness, it’s brave to chart yourself a new course. Just don’t go it alone because there are so many of us who will cheer you on as well!

Published by Melody McAllister

I am a wife, mother of five, educator, and author. My family relocated to Alaska from the Dallas area in 2019. I was awarded 2017 Garland NAACP Educator of the Year, and I'm the author of the I’m Sorry Story, a children's book about taking responsibility for mistakes and making sincere apologies. I am also the Logistics Manager for EduMatch Publishing. I've spoken at ISTE and ASTE about equity issues in education, and I write about my journey in my blog, HeGaveMeAMelody.com. Follow me @mjmcalliwrites

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