Usually when I blog, I try to focus on the great stuff I’m doing! But, truthfully, I probably get it wrong more than I ever get it right. When I’m getting it right, it usually comes from being wrong, A LOT. That’s okay. That’s real learning. But when raising children, it really sucks when we have to look in the mirror and realize we are falling short, and our kids are imitating us.
This quote from James Baldwin doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy. It challenges me to my core.⠀
It’s hard to own up to something you’ve done that was super hurtful to another human being.
Recently, my oldest child confronted me with something I had said to her that she was holding on to, and it was truly a mean comment. I don’t remember saying it, and first reaction in my mind was denial, but it definitely sounded like me when I’m being sarcastic. Quickly, I made the choice to apologize.
I’m ashamed that I hurt her. The very kind of comment I’m trying to help her not to say to her siblings was something that I said to her. I am guilty of modeling ugly comments, but I hope I’m just as guilty of modeling sincere apologies… and changed behavior. There is no quick-fix here. ⠀
Not one of us is perfect, but we can do better and we can help others heal when we face our mistakes with sincerity. ⠀
Every, new day we have the choice to grow and do better. I pray my core beliefs of loving others without agenda and standing up for what is right is something my children are learning from me the most, but I know I can’t hide my flaws from them. They see it all… my attitudes and words are just as much a part of their thinking/learning as they grow, learn, and decide to be who they would like to be. ⠀
For those of us who are doing the best we can for our children and students, thank you! We are making this world a better place, and it’s not easy! But the whole piciture demands the truth, the good and bad. We may not always get it right, and that’s why I thank God for forgiveness. ⠀