Author Archives: Melody McAllister

I am a wife, mother of five, educator, and author. My family relocated to Alaska from the Dallas area in 2019. I was awarded 2017 Garland NAACP Educator of the Year, and I'm the author of the I’m Sorry Story, a children's book about taking responsibility for mistakes and making sincere apologies. I am also the Logistics Manager for EduMatch Publishing. I've spoken at ISTE and ASTE about equity issues in education, and I write about my journey in my blog, HeGaveMeAMelody.com. Follow me @mjmcalliwrites

If I Was Your Child’s Teacher

If I was your child’s teacher, I knew there was a reason we were connected. I welcomed your child into my class, but I wanted you to know that you were welcome, too.

Educating the whole child means we are a team. I know sometimes that school carries scars of hurt. When you were struggling to trust, I knew my job was to listen.

If I was your child’s teacher, your child will forever be in my heart. It will be hard to reconcile their grown up face with the kid I knew, but I will feel so proud. Sometimes we continue to see former students as they grow, but many times they leave for another school or it’s their last year at our school. There is always an “oh my goodness” moment when I realize who your child is after a few years. I am always in awe.

If I was your child’s teacher, I messed up a lot. There are many things I’d do over. There are many apologies I would make. No one is perfect, including teachers. Sometimes the mistakes I’ve made haunt me because I wonder if I’ll ever get to make it right. Mostly that is not going to happen, but I always vow to do better, be more patient, and try to remember what life is like through the eyes of your child.

If I was your child’s teacher, I prayed for you and your family regularly. It’s okay if you and I have different faiths or if you don’t have a spiritual faith. Respect is always key. I just hoped the best for you and your family. We hear so much about our students’ home lives. Don’t be upset, our own home lives have problems too!

If I was your child’s teacher, you and your child taught me far more than any content I was required to teach. I am so glad for that! Thank you for being patient and talking with me when you were upset. Thank you for donating granola bars during testing time and hot chocolate packets in the winter. When you went the extra mile, it meant so much to all of us. We will never forget it.

If I was your child’s teacher, they probably know songs like “Lean On Me” or “I Love a Rainy Night” by heart. They probably get a chorus stuck in their head if you say, “Knowledge is Power.” Singing brings us together and it’s no different in the classroom. When a familiar song comes on the radio, I hope you both smile.

If I was your child’s teacher, there’s so many things I did because I had wonderful teachers and their legacy lives in me. So many of us are teachers because we had educators who poured into us when we were young.

If I was your child’s teacher, when I look back, I remember the best things about you and your kiddos. Teaching siblings from the same family always made me happy! It was an honor when you requested me to be the teacher for your next child. Knowing I am part of your family history brings me joy. Thank you for entrusting me to help you educate your child.

#teacherappreciationweek2023

Changing the Narrative

My BookChat with Dr. Henry Turner & Kathy Lopes, LICSW

Change The Narrative Book

Recently, Dr. Henry Turner and Kathy Lopes, LICSW joined me to talk about their book, Change the Narrative: How to Foster an Antiracist Culture in Your School.

This might not be a comfortable conversation for many listening. But I encourage you to do just that and reflect on the ideas we share. If you are new to the journey of antiracism or you’ve been on this path for years, Change The Narrative is a book you will want to read.

Both authors share their lived and professional experiences. They have successfully helped their school community be more inclusive, honor diversity, and challenge white supremacy and those who still fight to keep it centralized.

This conversation and their words are important if you want to know how to honor student voice and leadership. The first parat of the book begins with the personal journey and then provides a framework for staff education in antiracism.

Buy the Book!

3 Important Takeaways

There were three ideas that really stuck with me about our conversation.

Dr. Turner shared, “Antiracism is a lifelong journey.” We don’t get a medal for it, either. We are not better than others for doing this work. We do it with fidelity so everyone feels welcome, included, and represented. We stay the course because it’s a mission that never leaves us.
Start small and protect your joy. Antiracist cultures don’t form overnight. Do your best daily and go to sleep in peace. Ms. Lopes shared how she protects her joy by talking and sharing with those in her inner circle whom she never has to explain herself to. People who are vested in this work as well.
Student Leaders will absolutely change the narrative. There are so many students in our schools who have never felt seen. They’ve endured racism and no one seems to care. Create opportunities for students to share. Believe them. Empathize. Plan safe protests with them. We will be amazed at what they will achieve.

Here are a few posts I’ve shared about my personal journey to become more antiracist in my role as a human, parent, and educator. I share this journey in hopes it gives you an honest perspective from a white person who felt above racism to one who finally looked in the mirror at the truth and decided to change. It’s going to take all of us, as many who are willing, to change this narrative.

The Work in Becoming an Anti-Racist Educator: It’s Not Easy but Don’t Stop

Why Race Matters For This White Teacher

What’s Next? First Steps in Becoming an Anti-Racist Educator by @mjmcalliwrites

What is the #BLM Movement? #BookChat with @Hedreich & @mjmcalliwrites

Teaching Our Littles About Racism & Intolerance

We Have To Say Something

My Fellow White Savior: Let’s Get Uncomfortable!

Becoming More Culturally Responsive in Teaching

Courageous Conversations: Race Matters

Kashama Leo-Henry: Representation Matters

For two years, I have read books and interviewed their authors in my weekly bookchat. Sometimes the authors are my friends and sometimes I meet them for the fist time when we go LIVE!

Sand Castle Books

That is how I met the amazing Kashama Leo-Henry. She reached out to me in the spring of 2021 and sent me her first children’s book: Daddies and Uncles and More, Oh My!

Watch Our First BookChat

I was so impressed by how many of her friends and family tuned in to support her by listening to our bookchat. It was easy to see why, as Leo-Henry cares deeply about her community in North Carolina and the place of her birth, Saint Lucia.

Her first children’s book focused on the importance of father figures, Black male figures specifically, in the lives of her children and those in her community. Representation matters and now more children can celebrate the important roles that good men play in their lives.

Sand Castle Books Expands!

After publshing her first children’s book and diving into the publishing world, Leo-Henry’s new publishing company, Sand Castle Books, published their second children’s book! Leo-Henry partnered up with educator and author Abigail Edmunds and brought forth I Can! Just Not Like You.

This beautifully illustrated children’s book highlights inclusiveness, equity, and tolerance and shows how friends navigate through life in their own special way. I was touched how Edmunds was inspired by her family and writing this book was an act of love for the many children in her life who have inspired her and others, despite having different abilities.

Edmunds’ book features children who many people have writen off as incapable because of their different abilities.

You Have A Friend In Me

Two books in a year for a first-time publisher sounds like a large undertaking, but Kashama Leo-Henry wasn’t finished!! Her third book came out in 2022 and is called, You Have A Friend In Me.

You Have A Friend In Me draws readers in through rhyme and more beauitful illustrations from the same illustrator as I Can! Just Not Like You, Nana Melkadze.

Parents and teachers can use this book to start conversations around empathy and equality. In fact, starting these kinds of conversations shows high expectations that young children are capable of making friends who seem different.

Kashama Leo-Henry’s latest book can help young readers understand friendship and treating others with fairness and kindness.

What Will She Do Next?

Kashama Leo-Henry is a talented woman, educator, leader, and entrepreneur. She has found talented women to team up with, and amplifies meaningful messages through prose and thoughtful illustrations. I have loved every conversation we’ve had. I can’t wait to see what she publishes next.

If your goal is to develop a culturally responsive library, include Leo-Henry’s books! Children need to see themselves in books, and they need to see people who are different as well. Leo-Henry has found an organic way to elevate women, children, Women of Color, and children with different abilities. If you are wondering how to teach your children sincerity and compassion, her books area great way to start.

Yaritza Villalba: Diverse Books Matter

Check out my BookChat with Yaritza Villalba

My first bookchat guest author of 2023 was the incredible Yaritza Villalba. She is known internationally as a rockstar educator, leader, and Microsoft Flip Innovative Lead Educator.

McKenzie’s Time Machine

For years, Villalba has created and shared resources to help educators be more culturally responsive. She’s been on a mission to make sure every child feels seen, especially those who have been historically magrinalized.

FREE PearDeck Lesson

Fortunately for all of us, Yaritza Villalba’s passion to ensure top notch education has only grown since she’s become a mother. Her words for students, teachers, and her baby girl included in her first children’s book, McKenzie’s Time Machine, are absolutely precious and uplifting.

It was such an honor and privilege to have Villalba on my bookchat, especially to start off a new year. Check out the FREE PearDeck Lesson Plan that goes along with McKenzie’s Time Machine and the resources shared on her website. All of Yaritza Villalba’s books would make great additions to your personal and school libraries.

McKenzie’s Adventures Website/Resources

Not Merry & Not Bright

If you are feeling blue, you are in good company. Sometimes it seems like everyone around us has the holiday cheer that we are lacking.

This might be your first holiday without a loved one, or the anniversary of a tragic event.

You may find yourself in financial struggles right now.

There are so many things that could be bogging you down right now.

Unfortunately, holidays can amplify grief & anxiety, making it feel worse when we see others doing so much that we just can’t get ourselves interested in.

If these words resonate, I’m sending light and love in your direction. I pray, as a I write this, that you will feel connection with someone in your community who will hold space with you.

I pray that you will truly see those around you who feel similar and offer the compassion and love they so desperately need during this season of life.

And I hope that you find light and some hope through this season as well.

Hugs,
Mel 💜

Beginning & Ending with Joy

Starting with Joy

This past month, I intentionally began and ended my bookchats with joy.

First up was Dr. Joy, herself, and her book Joy Works: 8 Lessons for Educators. This book is special to me because I helped contribute to the chapter on reflection. Dr. Joy has become a close friend throughout the last few years and I’ve watched her live out her message. She is real, she is thoughtful, and she continues to learn and grow. She is someone I can count on for truth and support. Her work reflects all of that.

Such a special bookchat with Dr. Joy & her latest release!

Joy Works Book

Finishing With Joy

The last bookchat of 2022 was with my friend Jillian DuBois. Jillian has also been on my bookchat a few times. But this time, it wasn’t about a book she has written or published. She designed a beautiful card deck about joy. Each sentiment is from one of her many journals throughtout the years. I can’t imagine allowing others in on such private thoughts, but Jillian has a courage that inspire. Each card holds a precious thought from her life and artwork that goes along. As she shares her soul, she encourages us to do the same.

My BookChat with Jillian DuBois about her latest release.

Joy Card Deck

The Importance of Joy

Talking with both Dr. Joy & Jillian DuBois, we addressed what it’s like to protect joy, how hard it is to maintain, and lastly, how worthy the mission is for us. Regardless of your career or your roles, joy is what helps us get through the muck of life. It fuels our hope. The holidays aren’t merry for everyone. That’s okay. But there is still plenty of joy to be found, through the grief, gritty work, and triumphance. We hope these stories resonate.

Take Me Home: the story for these times….

Watch my bookchat with guest author Andrea Bitner!

Have you ever thought about what it’s like for immigrants to come to our nation? What the journey is like? What their feelings are when they first step foot on our land, in our schools, in our communities?

I wept reading this fantastic book, Take Me Home. Andrea Bitner dives right into eleven stories of former students and how they came to the United States of America. Together they faced tragedy and success.

It’s a short but powerful read.

Something that Andrea said in our chat is still in my mind. She shared that everyone, regardless of the language they speak, or their orgin, are hoping for three things: respect, acceptance, and admiration.

In today’s world, could you imagine how our society would be if we could repect each other’s differences, accept each other for who we are without trying to force our beliefs on them, and lastly, if we could find one thing about another that is worth admiration?

Her words are encouraging and her message is powerful.

Andrea Bitner Books

Back To School Prayer

“Dear Lord, as teachers, students, and families begin this new season, please grant them patience, wisdom, and protection.

Patience among the chaos,

Wisdom to see all as whole people,

And Protection against anyone seeking to harm.

Amen.”

I wrote this prayer a few nights ago. A part of me wanted to go into more detail, but I decided to leave it simple and broad because I know we can trust God with the details.

Patience Among Chaos

While this season can be fun and celebratory, it’s also a challenge to get back to routines. For some, new routines are just beginning.

The first time parent sending their child to kindergarten comes to mind. The parent who has multiple chlidren at multiple schools, trying to balance new schedules.

Educators are also enduring chaos. The first weeks of school set the tone. New students, new procedures, making sure all kids have lunches, a way home, and making sure their own children are off to a good start.

So many forces are coming together and chaos ensues as everyone struggles to find their equilibrium in the midst of it all. Knowing we each play a vital part in our school communities makes patience so important. We often run short on sleep and energy. That’s why this prayer request was on my mind. I know what it’s like in both roles and how easy it is to snap.

Wisdom to See All as Whole People

You and I are not one dimensional. We are not just teachers. We are not just parents. We are not just students. We are humans with interests and skills. We bring in worries. We bring in joy.

We are also scared… sometimes more often than we’d like to admit.

If we can keep this perspective in check, we know that our connectedness is paramount. We know that we can offer insight into solutions needed to help our community.

We know when we hurt each other, we are hurting those attached to us, as well.

Protection Against Those Seeking Harm

More than ever, we enter a school year with the pain of how the last one ended. We are nervous to send our babies off, knowing that some parents have endured their morning goodbyes as the final one.

Lord, protect us all. Stand in the gap and keep those wanting to hurt our loved ones away. Stop the plans from being carried out. Allow our children to learn with joy and not fear. Let us have each new day with our loved ones.

Keep In Mind

Four years ago, as a public school teacher, I entered into a new grade level after a summer where my husband had life-altering surgery and our youngest was still breastfeeding. I remember dreading back to school. I remember wondering how I would serve everyone in my life, my family and my students.

Our students might have had wonderful summer breaks or the exact opposite.

The tired parents on Meet The Teacher night might be doing their best to put aside grief and be present as much as possible.

When we see each other as humans, not just a label, we are filling this universe with love. It helps us to be more compassionate and empathetic. We even end up modeling that for our chilren and students.

I wish you the best this new school year. I hope you feel plugged in to a supportive community. We all need to feel like we belong. Our faith can help us with the details.

Amen.

Melody’s Makeup Musts:

For Beginners Like Me….

How It All Started

One of the worst experiences I had with makeup was at a middle school dance. I had too much foundation on and when I went to the bathroom to wipe the sweat off my face, I took all of the foundation off as well. We didn’t have YouTube or Instagram tutorials when I was growing up. All I knew was lipstick went on the lips, blush was for cheeks and so forth…. I’ve never felt confident about my makeup skills.

When I turned 39, I treated myself to a Vegas trip where I spent the day in a spa. Besides getting a pedicure and my hair styled, I made an appointment to get my makeup done professionally. My skin had been breaking out for months at that time, from my nose, around my mouth, to my chin. The esthetician covered all that up and I felt so beautiful! She suggested I get some facials when I went back home, to help heal my skin. I took her advice and after three facial treatments, a month apart, my skin was healed. In fact, three years later, I may get a few tiny little pimples during PMS, but they are barely noticeable and are gone in less than two days. My skin looks better than it has in years.

A selfie I took that I used as my professional headshot. This was taken after getting my makeup done in Vegas!

During the pandemic, there was no one open to get my makeup professionally done again. So I started watching Instagram reels about applying makeup. I learned about contouring and smokey eyes…and the more I watched, the more I played around, and the more confident I felt about how I apply my makeup.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Melody McAllister (@mjmcalliwrites)

I like showing the Before & After because I love myself even without makeup! The transformation that takes places is pretty epic, I think!

My favorite makeup tutorial influencer is Ashley Steading. I was following quite a few people, but her tips felt the most doable. Also, I just like how she is not over the top. She seems to be for every woman. I really admire that. Plus sometimes she even checks out my Instagram haha! That always makes me feel good. So if you are looking to learn from someone, check her out first. She uses Seint makeup. It’s cream makeup and one of these days, I’m going to invest in her brand and buy from her. But before I spend some serious cash on makeup, I wanted to see if cream makeup was even for me. That’s why I bought a basic cream kit off Amazon.

Melody’s Makeup Musts

Regardless if you buy the brand she sells or not, she still has great tips. I no longer use eyeliner, which is great because it always made my eyes itchy. She shows how to use eye makeup for liner and even though mine is not cream, it still works. She also shows how to use different makeup brushes to be able to do that! She knows all the hacks!! FOLLOW HER! 😉

This is NOT perfect placement, but it all works together when I blend. I can place the different shades in less than two minutes.

I’m sharing my makeup musts in this post. Everything is pretty inexpensive. You can get most of the items from Walmart or your preferred drugstore/pharmacy. (If you do decide to purchase from my Amazon shop, to be completely transparent, I do make a tiny commission that does not increase the price.)

Almost in same place in this before and after. Lighting is not different and I’m not using a filter. Makeup can enhance features and this photo really highlights that!

Here are my steps:

Moisturize daily, I prefer Oil of Olay Regenerist.
Prime your face (I use a pore minimizer primer) so the makeup stays!
Use the Youngfocus cream as your contour/foundation. It comes with a pamphlet to show you how to apply color, but short tutorials from Ashley Steading will help you, too.
Apply Bronzing pearls all over with a large blush brush.
Use the Wet ‘n Wild Ultimate eyebrow kit to enhance or fill in your eyebrows. Use the lightest shade to apply right under your brow. The directions come with this kit as well.
I use the lightest taupe color from the eyebrow kit as my bottom eye liner, using a very fine makeup brush, on the end of the brow brush.
Apply makeup. I learned a hack from Ashley how to make it smokey. Darkest color goes on edges, then middle color, and the lightest (and most sparkly in my preference) goes in the inside corder to middle lid. Blend like hell. If it’s crap, start over! Or add some lighter shades.
Use the darkest color (I use black) as your top lid liner.
Add a heart shape of your favorite lip color to your apples or cheeks for blush.
Add lip color, if you use the matte, apply a gloss if you don’t like it to be so matte.
Finish with a setting spray.

Practice Leads to Confidence

It’s okay if you make a lot of mistakes! I do it all the time, but I love the process of transformation! A good hype song always makes it more fun, too. Right now, Lizzo’s “About Damn Time” on repeat gets me going.

I listen to this on repeat when I’m getting ready!

After some practice, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you can do this!!!

Someone DMed me after I posted a reel that I didn’t need to wear makeup and I know they had good intentions, so I’m not mad. But I don’t wear makeup because I need to…I like to! It brings me joy! That may sound silly to you, and that’s okay, no one is forcing you to contour! LOL!!

In fact, no one needs to wear makeup. I’m sharing because as a forty something, I’m just now feeling confident about my makeup skills. I’d love to help others like me get that confidence, too, and it’s not as hard as you think!

I love a good selfie! I use the Lensa App to give me that soft lighting with the shadows. I do not feel the need to correct my face or take away my wrinkles. Filters can be fun! I was getting ready for date night to see Top Gun: Maverick. I felt so hot that night, Ladies!

Let me know if you want to learn the basics!

Email me or comment on this post: mjmcalliwrites@gmail.com and use heading “Melody’s Makeup Must Haves Basic Tutorial” and I’ll make it happen!! Let’s just have some fun!

DISCLAIMER: I still consider myself a Beginner. I can teach you basics to help you grow in confidence.